From The Blog

Ask Dr. Pettis: Spouses w/ separate accounts | Apologizing parents

Q: What do you think about husbands and wives having separate bank accounts?
A: If both spouses are in agreement and it’s not done maliciously or to hide funds, this can definitely work. Whether it is separate or joint accounts, it is important that both spouses agree and are open and honest with what they have and with what they are purchasing. Sometimes a joint bank account can be a strain on a marriage if one spouse is not a very good financial steward. Both ways have their benefits – sometimes separate accounts can be better for surprise gifts. The key is that both spouses are in complete agreement to have separate accounts while allowing your spouse insight into your account and what you have.

Q: I’m an adult, but I feel I didn’t have a good upbringing as a child. Should parents ever apologize to their children for their mistakes?
A: There are many adults who still carry issues from their childhood and these things will never go away unless you address them and face them head-on. Keep in mind there is no such thing as a perfect parent because there such a thing as a perfect person. Most people, including parents, make decisions based on the knowledge they have at that point in their life. Mistakes can be made based on the lack of knowledge at that time. Also, ignorance plays a part and can leave room for mistakes. In some cases, parents simply did not know how to be parents. This can sound like an excuse but one cannot give something that is not in them (such as parenting).
Mistakes can also be made due to selfishness on the parent’s part and the fact they did not make their child a priority. By the same token, some children also have a selfish mindset. For example, they get upset 20 years later because they didn’t get the latest name-brand clothing that their peers did.
This issue really is situational but it is not out of order for a parent to apologize. If this is bothering you, discuss it with your parents and ask God to help you with understanding and to get past this – He will. It is not good for anyone to carry past hurts because this will cause issues in your future.

 

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